On December 19 Bobby, my friend Karyn and Arnel and I headed to Healthy Family Farm… a farm that Bobby and I have invested in to model what it means to support a true healthy farm where animals goats, chickens, turkeys, lambs, pigs, horses and Scottish cows are treated with love and compassion. We believe in the power of the small farm and how this country was built on farming. The farmer used to be a huge part of a thriving society. Now big business has over run the family farm and to find good healthy farms is a rarity. We believe that being connected in some way to a farm or a local farmers markets is a strong message that you care about your food, where it comes from and you care about who is providing nourishment for you.

So the journey to the farm was set with the intention to show friends how important and wondrous our farm is… We pulled up to the big barn where the goats get milked and where raw cheese and yogurt is made…. Bindu (the now famous yorkie) jumped out of the Mini into a dangerous land… immediately there were paws, legs and hooves abundantly circling us and particularly interested in Bindu. Bindu in general thinks of himself as a large dog… he growls at Great Danes and gives Dobermans a hard time but never before had he encountered so many beasts at one time…

The 3 or 4 Pyrenees mountain dogs whom watch out for the cows and lambs came for a sniff joined by a pit bull and a Staffordshire terrier that had been fighting the night before and had cuts to show for it. Then came the 2 Emus, which are new to the farm… I had never seen an Emu up close they look like ostriches yet dark grey and particularly curious…One thought Bindu was the most fascinating creature he had ever seen… he kept stretching his long neck towards Bindu’s face which sent the mighty Yorkie into the high grass in a way we had never seen before… he looked like a whirling dervish in a frenzy of exhilaration. When he made his way back to our feet he had a look of a creature deeply spooked…his mouth was wet with nervous saliva and his eyes were round brown orbs looking for refuge… Arnel kept picking him up… giving him rest from the animal attack.

Bobby and I thought it would be good if Bindu was on the ground often so that he could get used to the farm animals, dogs and cats that were wandering about…we knew that we would be back often and we wanted him to get comfortable in this new environment. Yet whenever any one of us put him back on the ground he dashed in circular motions looking for safety.

We wandered towards where the horses and lambs are held passing pigs and goats along the way… Bindu was not a fan of the goats at all as they tried to nibble at him like a Saturday afternoon snack… so I watched him closely as we passed. We came to the pasture where Sunny, a horse whom had been rescued a few months prior came galloping to us…he runs free like the Emus do in certain areas of the farm… Sunny was healthy and strong contrary to his weakened scrawny body of before… we were delighted to see him so much better.. Sharon the farm owner ( and amazing woman) takes in many animals otherwise neglected and near death and nurses them back to health. Bindu was not at all happy with the grand entrance Sunny made… he came on too fast… his hooves like crushers from above… the ponies came too. From Bindu’s point of view his world had become a sea of legs hooves tails and growls… He made a leap for Arnel’s lap and looked at me pleadingly. It was time to move on.

I figured he was safe in Arnel’s care as we moved towards the chicken coop to check out all the happy truly free-range chickens bound around their particularly stinky area. Bobby went into the coop first then Arnel put Bindu down and I joined the coop… I raised chickens when I was 18 for a summer and find them funny to watch… we all squawked in harmony… laughed and moved towards the turkeys. The males look fake with their iridescent gobbles and goofey faces. We made bad turkey jokes and mocked their heavy struts.

Bobby and I had an appointment in town…We had played with Sharon, and the animals a little too long and had to return to Santa Monica 60 minutes away… and we had 45 minutes to get there on time… we ran back to the car and immediately asked “where’s Bindu?” That was the beginning of the search.

It seemed surreal that we had lost him out of thin air… We went over his face and scared looks in our minds and we both felt guilty that we had not paid closer attention to his fears. The last anyone had seen him was right before we entered the chicken coop.

Farm hands told us that he must have been so spooked that he was hiding with the kittens under the barn or that he had jetted into the wild lands at the back of the property. Everyone searched everywhere. Bobby climbed under the house and I tried to scope out the kittens under-barn habitat. Sharon’s kids took up the search on horse back and in trucks. Bobby and I trekked into the hills screaming his name while cows mooed annoyingly back at us… they found the whole search a disruption of their peaceful farm life. 8 hours we searched the hills, coops, barns and neighbor’s property. The kids swore they saw him once and others said they heard him bark but I never could feel him anywhere close yet I didn’t know where else to look…

Periodically I broke down as I thought maybe a hawk or coyote had taken my little friend. My gut said he was alive but where was he? Bindu was not one to hide under barns, in caves or under brush… he is by nature social and loves to be with us AT ALL TIMES… so the idea of him taking off never felt right to me.

I was not new to losing dogs I had lost plenty to predators and the highway when I was young in Idaho but Bindu had been my loyal partner for ten years and though I had had 6 dogs only 2 years ago… after my divorce I ended up with him alone… he was my sage… a calm heartbeat that I rest my hand on when things got rough or when things were good I could share my joy with him… he looked deep into my eyes and he knew me and I knew him… (a little AVATAR thrown in) I was heart broken at the thought of losing him… In his nine days away I longed for his little body in my lap as I sat in silence in my garden meditating early in the morning.

We left the farm well into the darkness not believing that he was really gone…. Bobby held me close when I broke down on the drive home… I kept looking for his little face in the back…it was all a big “Bindini” joke and he was hiding in the car.

When we woke up on Sunday morning we made a pact to see Bindu as returned healthy and happy… Bobby is a no nonsense man…change your focus and behave the way you want things to be and take action… from then on I only cried in the bathroom or in my garden alone and yet together we put on happy faces THE GREAT BINDU or the GREAT WINDINI would soon return to us. Seeing him as healthy and returned was the answer… we were guided by many and to hold him close in our heart that he was alive and well…

It felt like he was still around and that if he was at the farm he had found a nice warm spot to shelter himself… so we headed up again to spend the night at the farm in Bobby’s Truck with the windows down in order for Bindu to smell us… we placed his bed on the ground and wrote a note that welcomed him home… (on the suggestion of a pet psychic… what the hell, we were willing to try anything).

I had been receiving wonderful encouragement from my twitter followers and it seemed everyone was pulling and praying for Bindu. The night was cold and Sunny, the spooker was running free that night. Bobby and I watched a film on my computer before sleeping and in a particularly silent part of the film we heard a HUGE blast of air released…a fart to be precise… it went on for at least 5 full seconds … It was crazy loud and a great tension reliever… We laughed hard… I think that was one of the first true laughs I had had in days… I hoped the horse wasn’t sending Bindu further away but also thought that maybe our laughter would draw him to us… we laugh a lot and Bindu was always a part of our joy.

I woke up early to scout the hills again but no luck…it just didn’t feel like he was outside. I really began to feel that he had been dog-napped.

We then made posters… actually our friend Lee Hiller made them and they were fantastic… we put a big money reward on them. I imagined that anyone who had him was surprised that he didn’t act like a puppy and was set in his ways and would reconsider keeping him.

Then came a twitter message from @jenuinehealing… she is an intuitive healer. She sent a message and said she thought she saw Bindu in a garage of some sort and he was fine but greasy … she felt that whomever had him was a mechanic … I had many psychic messages from followers hunches and feelings and I appreciated the energy and felt comforted by them but it wasn’t until Jen’s was I moved to respond. She left her number so Bobby and I called her and on the way to posting signs… she told us that Bindu was fine but unhappy with his food and didn’t like that the kids were teasing him… she felt that Bindu had been taken by garage worker and that his wife and kids had no idea the dog’s predicament and that they likely spoke little English. Though this message was coming from across the country both of us felt moved when she told us. Jen was telling the truth… we felt it. Understand that Bindu is very particular about his food… we feed him raw chicken, beef, and salmon…and he loves raw cheese and milk… He likes his bites of sourdough bread and raw butter as well…not to mention his passion for Bobby’s pizza…he had become a spoiled foodie dog…the idea that he was disgruntled with his food made perfect sense. Kids trying to make him play like he was a puppy was also a sign of Jen tuning into Bindu’s personality. After all Bindu is 10 years old and frankly little kids annoy him. Jen’s “story” hit us both in the heart. We informed Sharon and her workers what we had heard and had them put the word out to everyone in Wheeler canyon… so with posters on trees and inside mail boxes we felt it was just a matter of time…

Jen kept reassuring us in tweets and on calls that Bindu was still okay and yet she had felt that the family was worried and superstitious and that having taken Bindu was a bad omen for them. She sent reassuring and healing messages to the “family” that they were safe to return him and nothing bad would happen… day after day went by and still we all felt Bindu was getting closer… if only energetically.

On December 27th Bobby, Arnel and I went climbing in Malibu canyon… it was cold and damp but the routes were fun and challenging. I started the day on my first lead climb… the rocks were covered with moss and I promptly fell after only a few moves. I cut my right leg but kept going till there was no moving past the moss without slipping and falling again. We spent a few hours climbing… first me then Bobby then Arnel… It was fun though I often would look to the rock base where Bindu normally would be… curled up in a frigid little ball until we were done…When we were too chilled to go any longer we packed up and went to lunch. Then I got a call and the woman on the other end said she had found a small yorkie just minutes ago on the road near where the farm was… she said “she” was fine… I asked “are you sure it’s my dog? Bindu is a boy”… oh she hadn’t really checked but the name on the tag was Bindu and this was the number… Elated I said that I would be there as soon as I could leave Malibu, get to my house and change cars…a matter of a couple of hours since it was along drive…

YIPPEE and all smiles…I immediately Tweeted that we had found him… Bobby thought I should have waited until he was in our arms before I made an announcement… Oops I already had informed at least 270 thousand followers… There was such tremendous love and support from them I couldn’t resist and besides it had become a miracle Christmas story.

Giggling and excited we drove TOO FAST to the farm… we sang oldies loud and screeched into wheeler canyon like bandits… it was dark… the road seemed longer then when we were there only days ago… The woman who had called had Bindu in her arms at the door… he squeaked in recognition. Just like you would imagine I cried and wanted to hear the story of finding him… another gal from Santa Paula had come up the canyon in the late afternoon to ride her horse and she simply saw Bindu running up the road, stopped and picked him up. She brought him to where she rides at her friend’s house…. They were aware of the reward and I must say she seemed overwhelmed with joy at the prospect of being able to cure her sick horse with the money… she cried and gave both of us hugs of gratitude.

The fact is we have no idea who actually had Bindu for nine days is disconcerting yet we still “feel” that what we learned from Jen was true. We think that the family returned Bindu to the road where they had originally found him. He was greasy and timid but not skinny or hurt so he had definitely been taken care of.

Now the Great Bindu eats his bones and licks the raw butter off bites of his sourdough bread… (little carb addict)… he is back on my lap when the sun comes over the hill to warm my face and his small body… he again looks into my eyes… where he has been we will never really know but he is happy to be home and we are overjoyed to have him back… we are also more careful to take heed our little furry man’s messages…

We took a New Years eve hike… under the blue moon… he moved fast as a mouse and we watched him closely… He curled up in Bobby’s shirt in the freezing air while we made our 2010 goals in front of the fire. We both smiled knowing that Bindu is home wherever we are… atop a mountain…at a farm…under a rock or in the kitchen near the Christmas tree. HOME… Bindu is HOME!!!

I really want to say thank you to everyone including @jenuinehealing, @jravenhawk, @leehiller, @ricklondon, @Adamfyre, @Alyssa_Milano, and many more twitter followers/friends and all my non twitter friends… Karyn, Arnel, Lisa, Bobby’s family and of course Langley and Dree and all others who helped us find Bindu or anyone who sent their love support and condolences… I am humbled by your support. You all made this a holiday miracle for my family!

journal Bindu, Bobby, christmas, Healthy Family Farm